November 21, 2013

Game Day Diary: Raiders 28 - Texans 23

I needed to take a few days off before I looked back at my Game Log from Sunday. Why? Because my mind nearly exploded Sunday.

I don't even care about how bad this team is playing recently. The season is over. I only care about the young players on this team getting a chance to play. Whether good or bad, whatever experience they get will be huge when determining who this franchise wants to go forward with next season.

Which is why this game was so maddening. Gary Kubiak benching Case Keenum for Matt Schaub is one of the most bizarre, insane decisions I've ever seen a coach make in the middle of the game. You thought Schaub gave you a better chance to win? Uhhh...WHAT? Even stranger...Kubiak decided TO MAKE KEENUM THE STARTER AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. WHY? WHAT IN THE CRAP IS GOING ON?

Latest diary after the jump.

12:05 – Right on cue! We're not even 3 minutes into the game, and the Texans have turned it over to the Raiders deep in their own territory. Charles Woodson forces a Garrett Graham fumble, and the Raiders have the ball at the Texans 16. Yay!

12:12 – Brice McCain gets beat for a touchdown. Obviously.

Meanwhile, while a lot of frustration with this franchise is directed at Gary Kubiak, you can't leave defensive coordinator Wade Phillips blameless. His predictable defensive schemes (5 blitzers, 5 in man coverage, 1 man deep) allowed the Raiders to run tons of pick plays underneath, making things even tougher than they typically are for old Brice.

12:18 – Someone needs to get healthy at running back. And fast. Dennis Johnson fills in for Ben Tate on third and short. And somehow, despite open space in front of him and his quick burst, he still gets stopped short. Oiy Vey.

12:27 – How about this Raiders punter? He boots a 62 yard bomb...which Joe Marciano's turd-tastic special teams promptly make worse with a holding penalty.

Don't worry though, Marciano's a swell guy. And in a performance based industry like the NFL, that's all you need to stay employed. Houston.

12:30 – The poop parade keeps rolling along. The Raiders send the house, throw Chris Myers aside like a rag doll, and force Case Keenum's first career interception.

12:31 – And...Brice McCain just happened. 14-0 Raiders after the very next play.

12:44 – Another big Raiders punt. Another holding penalty to make it worse.

12:49 – BAM. Keenum to Graham. Touchdown.

This team is only fun to watch because of Keenum. Good thing there's no way we'll see anyone else back under center the rest of the season...

12:54 – Brandon "No Fly Zone" Harris goes ham after the Raiders drop a pass on third down. Gotta love that enthusiasm, especially seeing as he was absolutely toasted on the play.

1:00 – Derek Newton. False start. Chris Myers. False Start. Then a third and long...short of the sticks…dropped pass. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. And Drink.

1:13 – KeShawn Martin with a punt return touchdown. And no penalty! IS THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT ENDING?

Meanwhile, Martin tries to do a Lambeau Leap of sorts...and completely fails. Hey bro...after running about 90 yards...maybe you should just take a seat. Have a breather. Eat a snack.

1:29– Wow...back to back positive special teams plays? Look at Randy Bullock finally hitting a field goal outside of 50 yards. Sure it barely squeezed inside the uprights...but come on! He's a chubby fellow. And he isn't that limber...much like his counterpart from A Christmas Story.

2:05 – What a throw by McGloin for 6. Off his backfoot deep down field. Darryl Sharpton was in coverage...but stopped running downfield. Raiders back in control.

2:20 – Dead silence. Back to back three and outs by Keenum and the offense.

2:22 – TRUCK STICK. D.J. Swag gets tossed aside as Rashad Jennings takes it to the house for six out of the Wildcat. Deader silence.

Is deader a word?

2:27 – Schaub is back in. And I am checking myself out due to WHAT IN THE F*$%ING F&*% IS THIS?

2:41 – The Texans offense is surprisingly in a groove. Oh wait. It's third and goal from long range.

SCHAUB BACK TO PASS...HE LOOKS LONG AND DEEP...AND HE'S GOING TO...throw it way short of the end zone.


2:58 – Schaub has Texans in red zone again. He ends the drive doing what he does best...throwing the ball to Andre Johnson in middle of triple coverage in the end zone. least he threw it to Andre while he was in the end zone?

Bullock boots home another field goal.

3:29 – Somehow, the Texans get one more chance to win the game with another Schaub drive. On fourth and short...Matt goes classic Matt, throwing the pass SHORT OF THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE...IT WAS 4TH AND INCHES! HA.

In true Texans form, the O-line gets called for their 30th false start of the game (give or take), giving Schaub another chance! Which he promptly wastes by throwing to Andre in triple coverage.

But Matt hasn't finished ruining everything! Now it's time for him to scream at Andre Johnson...pissing off the only offensive player of value the Texans still have! Hooray!

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