September 19, 2013

Game Day Diary: Texans 30 - Titans 24

I know come from behind victories are fun to watch. But I gotta say...I hate 'em. Especially when the team you cover is significantly better than the opposition. Blow outs mean less tension. Games like the last two for the Texans? Not so much.

Here's my log of this past Sunday's game.

12:00 - Wilcots said Schaub answered a lot of questions in week 1...And then realized he just led a comeback against the Chargers, something 340 other teams can claim.

12:03 - Just when you thought the "Foster-Tate" controversy couldn't become a more obnoxious story line, IT DOES. Tate runs for 60 yards. Been a while since we've seen a big play like that from either running back. In fact...

- It's the longest play by either of the backs since Foster had a 78 yard TD reception against the Bucs in 2011.
- And the longest run by either of the backs since Foster had a 74 yard TD run against the Raiders in 2010.
- Also...notice neither of the above were Tate. Who is playing really, really well.

12:07 - Wilcots: "So far it seems like a slow start on that first play." That made so much sense, bro. Poor Kevin Harlan.

Buckle up, we're just getting started with Solomon.

12:12 - Unpopular take alert. Like the way Kareem Jackson plays. But the guy always launches and puts his head down when he tackles. Did it twice on first defensive drive, and will do it plenty more through out the game.

12:14 - Meanwhile...on the other side Johnathan Joseph continues to struggle. This time getting beat by Nate Washington. I'll be honest, I'm getting a little alarmed. He struggled last season, which we all thought was the result of injuries. But maybe he's lost his fastball...

12:18 - As much as I want to crap on Brice McCain (who I don't think is very good), that was a perfect throw by Locker for a TD.

Meanwhile, Wright gets penalized for that dance. Normally I'd protest...but with that rule in place you better make your group celebrations better. I don't know if that was the "Stanky Leg" or something else...all I know is it sucked.

12:23 - New drinking game. Every time Matt Schaub throws to a receiver running a route short of the first down on third, drink. He did it to DeAndre Hopkins here...who got more yards after the catch when the guy who was supposed to cover him tripped.

12:26 - Really bad play all Foster forgets he's getting a play fake, misses a blitz pickup, forcing Schaub to throw the ball away. And by throw away, I mean lob a duck straight up in the air that stays on the field and nearly gets picked.

Yeah...fuck it. DRINK.

12:28 - Third and 4... and the Texans run. Yeah...that's a drink. Oh...and Randy Bullock is going to miss the following field goal attempt? Double-shot.

12:40 - Hey, I've got a good idea. How about on 4th and 1, we put Jackie "Picking Up Speed Is A" Battle 6 yards behind the QB and hand off to him? I'm sure it will work. didn't, because Battle is entirely useless. If you created him in Madden, he'd have an 100 rating for trucking (ask Danieal Manning), and a 60 for everything else.

12:42 - It's really unfortunate that both Brennan Williams and David Quessenberry are on injured reserve. Bless Derek Newton's heart...but he's shaky. This time, he holds Derrick Morgan...yet still lets him get to QB and deflect pass.

12:43 - We know Arian Foster hates:

- the media
- answering football related questions
- NOT being a hipster.

But can we add Matt Schaub to this list? I only ask after Schaub missed an open Foster with a throw that was both low and behind his running back. And after he had less than 220 yards receiving last year.

12:45 - It's third and seven. You already know what happened. Drink.

12:54 - Wilcots says Schaub is in the elite category. His timing is flawless, as it comes before a sequence where Schaub checks down multiple times after failing to adjust to readable blitzes.

1:00 - Third and long...SYKE. Schaub hits Andre on a deep out for a first...drawing an "elite throw" comment from Solomon.

In other news...whenever I hear the word elite, I want to punt a child.

1:04 - The drive stalls, and Jonah Hill misses a 50 yarder. Good thing the Texans drafted a kicker with a powerful leg, he's been money thus far from long range. Wait a minute...

1:19 – Locker fumbles a snap. That's so Jake Locker.

1:21 – The Texans O-Line really struggled to deal with Tennessee's blitzes...and the latest just resulted in a Bernard Pollard interception (off a deflected pass).

Meanwhile, Schaub had his life ruined on that play going after Pollard in pursuit. Gotta say, wasn't Schaub's best game...but he was taking shots all game behind a line that was often shaky.

1:25 – Cushing is going T-1000 all over the place today. He has 9 tackles, 2 sacks, 3 tfl, and 2 QB hits in JUST THE FIRST HALF. I'm not sure if he's even 100% yet, but he's doing everything in his power to earn that new contract.

1:28 – The score was 10-7 at halftime. Which leads us to our real entertainment...

1:48 – The O-Line continued its rough play in the second half. Still, Schaub has to be better at reading blitzes and adjusting the offense accordingly. Especially when those blitzes aren't disguised AT ALL.

Meanwhile, people are pissed. It's pretty early in the 2nd half to hear boos like THAT.

1:54 - Johnson makes getting open look so effortless...becoming the 24th leading receiver of all time in the process.

Speaking of that, he passed Muhsin Muhammad to do it. How shocked were you to hear THAT guy was 24th all time? Geez.

1:57 – PERFECT throw from Schaub to Owen Daniels for six and a 14-10 lead. Screw's Sunday...drink.

2:04 - J.J. Watt is really, really good. Sack. Drink.

2:17 – Pass protection can't pick up a blitz? Drink. Schaub with a throw short of the sticks? Drink.

2:24 – Cushing with another TFL. Jesus Christ, this guy is terrifying.

2:27 – After 200,000 penalties put the Titans inside their own 5, Brian Cushing and the D went HAM on back to back plays...eventually getting a safety out of it. I thought it was a safety all the way up in the press box (though it wasn't ruled that way) because I'm a smarty pants. Bro. Give Gary Kubiak credit for challenging.

2:39-2:46 – The Texans had COMPLETELY shut Tennessee's offense down. And then...allowed a 99 yard drive. A drive where pretty much everyone...Shiloh Keo, Johnathan Joseph, Brian Cushing, Kareem Jackson...had at least one major eff-up.

Also, captain launch himself Kareem Jackson Brandon Meriweather'd Kendall Wright on that drive for a nice little 15 yard penalty. I like Kareem's physicality...but after the fine ($42,000) and given how he tackles on a regular basis...this could come to bite him in the ass by the end of the year. Maybe even with a suspension.

2:55 - Run for loss. Sack for loss. Down 17-16. How can things get any worse?

2:56 – Oh a pick 6 by Matt Schaub where he throws the ball right to a Titans defender. Ok.

Solomon Wilcots blamed the interception on Hopkins during the game...he maintained that take during an interview with Fred and Ted Tuesday. Bro. It was Schaub's fault. Kubiak even said so. Matt said so. Stop defending your asinine take when everyone who was a part of the play says you're wrong.

3:00 - Terrible 3 and out. And everyone starts leaving.

Why? Yes you're down 24-16. It's 8 points. But it's a one score game. And much crazier shit has happened in this league.

For of my biggest regrets as a Patriots fan was leaving early when the Pats were down 24-13 with 5 minutes to go in the regular season finale against the Dolphins. In my defense:

- It was a 2 score game.
- A drunk fan had fallen on me, and my dad got them kicked out. He wanted to leave too.
- It was cold/there was snow.

If you left early what was yours? Is beating traffic 2 minutes early really that big a deal when you've spent that much money on tickets...parking...concessions...etc? Don't you want to get the most bang for your buck? Then stay and hope for the improbable. Because when you're there for's kind of awesome.

3:12 - Hopkins is taking over. 2 catches to start off the game tying drive...then another catch to get to the 24. Meanwhile, Wilcots sucks off Schaub for going back to Hopkins after making that "mistake". Great analysis chief.

3:15 - Andre Johnson just made THE CATCH OF CATCHES on the sideline, catching a pass in traffic before being blasted out of bounds by Bernard Pollard. He was concussed, and the play was ruled incomplete.

But if there was ever a time to get was here. The injury time out gave Kubiak PLENTY of time to view replay after replay after replay. Koobs challenged, and the rest is history.

3:25 - For the second straight week, Socrates Foster came through in crunch time. First running for a touchdown, then even more so extending to punch in that two point conversion (which at first appeared short of the end zone).

3:29 - Wilcots calls out Britt for not catching a pass on third down. Then calls out Locker 5 seconds later for making an awful throw. Kevin Harlan didn't give him the breathing room to explain that DeAndre Hopkins ran the wrong route.

3:30 - Holy balls, what an end sequence:

- Bullock drills a game winning field goal down the pipes. Oh wait, Mike Munchak called a time out.
- Bullock's game winning attempt is blocked. Oh wait, the guy who blocked it was 200 yards offsides.

[meanwhile, action shot of Matt Schaub looking away from the field...holding onto DeVier Posey. ho ho ho.]

- Bullock's hooks it left. Oh wait...Mike Munchak called ANOTHER time out.
- Bullock hits the post. And...yeah this one counts.


Cheer up Jonah Hill.

3:35 - Andre is out...and another receiver (DeAndre) takes over? This could be HUGE for the Texans going forward.

3:38 - Foster ran like a man in OT...breaking a tackle with a spin move...then a stiff arm for an extra 5 yards. Then Tate one ups him the very next run with a 13 yard carry. Between fresh legs and a little competition, this running game could be a lot more effective in 2013.

3:40 - Schaub...when you throw the ball away...please throw it all the way out of bounds. Don't leave any possibility for a pick. Lobbing passes at a DB's feet is just asking for it. Please bro. Please.

3:42 - Schaub is literally just Flaccoing these balls up in the air and praying his guy comes down with it. And Hopkins is MORE than delivering. He has hands...and even more strength.

Naturally, after the incredible catch Wilcots calls out Hopkins AGAIN for screwing up on the pick 6. Yeah he only has 6 catches for 114 yards at this point bro. What a shit-head.

3:45 - Schaub trusts this kid. Good. TD, Game Blouses, and let's get the fuck outta here.

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