April 12, 2011

My name is John Steigerwald...and I'm a Douchebag


The World of Sports ports sees its fair share of jackasses. Players, fans, the media...it doesn't matter. You can make a bet that someone is going to make a fool of themselves. 

Surprisingly, this story is completely untouched by the jock crowd. Pretty amazing, seeing as athletes tend to be the biggest dumbasses alive.  But some idiot fans and a wanna be Ron Burgundy sure got themselves involved.

First, the backstory involving the spectators, from CBS San Francisco:

A San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten and badly injured at Dodger Stadium showed “evidence of brain injury and dysfunction” and remained hospitalized in critical but guarded condition, doctors said Tuesday.

Dr. Gabriel Zada, a Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center neurosurgeon, indicated that Bryan Stow, 42, of Santa Cruz, likely suffered brain damage – that could affect memory, thinking ability and even personality – as a result of a severe skull fracture and bad bruising to his frontal lobe.


The suspects [described as Dodger Fans] approached Stow, who was wearing Giants gear, from behind and first taunted him before hitting him and knocking him to the ground, where he hit his head on the pavement and was then kicked repeatedly in the head and body.

Pathetic. But a man by the name of John Steigerwald takes the crown for king of the D-Bags. How? Just read this shit.

Just how did he win this prestigious title? Maybe someone can ask Stow, if he ever comes out of his coma, why he thought it was a good idea to wear Giants' gear to a Dodgers' home opener when there was a history of out-of-control drunkenness and arrests at that event going back several years.

Remember when it was the kids who were wearing the team jerseys to games? It was a common sight to see an adult male coming through the turnstile dressed as a regular human being with a kid dressed in a "real" jersey holding his hand.

Cute.

Are the 42-year-olds who find it necessary to wear their replica jerseys to a road game, those kids who are now fathers who haven't grown up?

Are there really 40-something men who think that wearing the jersey makes them part of the team? It was cute when a 10-year-old kid got that feeling by showing up at Three Rivers Stadium in a Pirates jersey, but when did little boys stop growing out of that?

Here's tip for you if you actually think that wearing your team's jersey makes you a part of the team:

It doesn't.

The team is those guys down on the field, ice or court who are, you know, actually playing the games. They like the noise you make as a group, and they love playing in front of you. If you're an adult, and you approach them in a replica game jersey with their name on it and your face is painted, you scare them.

If you don't put that jersey on in the locker room with them and have your own name on your jersey, you're not one of them.

Let's review: If you're sitting in the stands, you're a spectator, a fan. If you're down on he field, you're part of the team.


Listen bro. I may be a bit of a tool myself, but I'm pretty sure I draw the line for hating on people when they're IN A F@!#ING COMA.

Plus, wearing an away jersey in enemy territory is a thrill. Sure you're maybe going to get a lot of shit from other fans, and every now and then you might get put in a coma. But getting to gloat while thousands of pissed off fans walk sullenly to their cars is simply AWESOME.

Brian was playing it smart Big John. Everyone knows that L.A. fans are the worst in the country. Why would he have expected anyone to get mad about a bad day at the ballpark? Too bad L.A. fans are still the worst in the country...for an entirely different reason.

On a serious note, I really (and obviously) hope this guy gets better. 42 and a father of 2. Just tragic. And good to see through stories like this prove that there still is some good in the world of sports.

In the meantime, try to stay classy Steigerwald.

PS - Nice porno stache bro.

No comments:

Post a Comment