April 25, 2011

Is this the greatest pitching staff of all time?

Normally I don't pay a whole lot of attention to the early months of major league baseball. But this year has been a little different.

First off, I nearly went off the deep end when the Red Sox started 0-6.   Unnecessary panic? Yes.

But honestly I could care less about what's going on in the MLB (or the 5 game win streak from the surging Sawx).  All I care about right now is my first place fantasy baseball team.  And its godtastic pitching staff. Unnecessary hype? HELL NO.


First take a look at my beatdown (my second straight domination-style win, thanks Eric) of good buddy Gus and his Kekambas.


I put his team in worse shape than G-baby on the streets of Chicago. Nine-nada. #Winning. And done with an offensive lineup more injury prone than JD Drew.  Dexter Fowler got freaking playing time.

Why did I win so badly?  Take a look at how effing awesome my pitching staff is.


AWESOME PITCHING?

Check. Halladay. Johnson. Lester. Beckett.  Murderers freaking row.  Then Heath Bell and Brian Wilson closing? Is this real life? Throw in Bronson Arroyo as "the greatest 5th starter ever" (NESN.coms assessment of Dice-K Matsusaka...sure bro) and Matt Capps, and what have you got? Just another fabulous pitching staff built by yours truly.

BADASS CHARACTERS?

Check.

A. Brian Wilson is Brian Wilson. No further comments needed.
B. Jon Lester beat cancer.
C. Bronson Arroyo is a death metal rock and roller. Sort of.

RIDICULOUS HAIRCUTS/BEARDS?

Check.

A: Brian Wilson. Again, no further comment.
B: Josh Beckett: Glorious soul patch.
C: Bronson Arroyo rocks a Tom Brady-esque flow.  Not quite the same as his corn rows, but it gets the job done.

So when Reilly's Cake Eaters finish cruising through this league, remember these three things...

A: Pitching wins fantasy championships. (No idea if this is actually true in fantasy baseball).

B: My fantasy baseball drafting skills clearly make me the perfect candidate to be a major league GM. (Btw, I need a job. Let's help a legend out MLB)

C: As legendary pee-wee hockey coach Jack Reilly once said..."it's not worth winning if you can't win big!"

Guess what. These last two wins are feeling pretty damn worthy right now.  That and first place in the league.

CHAMPIONSHIP.

No comments:

Post a Comment